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Sunday, May 25, 2008

Now Take It

My kids are so hilarious at times! Thanks to the You Don't Mess with the Zohan commercials my 7 year old has been putting his foot in my 1 year old's face "Smell it, smell it. Now take it!" *whack* right in the cheeck he gets his brother with his foot. They both start giggling then the 1 year old tried to imitate. Hecan't quite get the words out or lift his foot in the air. It is the cutest thing.... Sorry guess you had to be here. I swear it's the little things that make each day special! Zohan, Kung-Fu Panda, Indiana Jones, Hancock. I am definitely going to have to work movie going into the summer budget. We can always wait until the movie gets to the dollar movies but who wants to see the summer blockbusters weeks-months after everyone else?

Check out the official movie site for synopsis and trailers.


PS- I'm not saying I do it but nowadays there are websites out there that have NEW QUALITY movies and tv shows available for downloading and streaming. Hmmmmmm.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Random Rant



This wouldn't be a proper single mom blog if I didn't rant about men every now and then. I've been trying hard to not have any negative thoughts or dwell on men but sometimes I get so sick of the "baby daddies", "sperm donors", "exes" or "so-called boyfriends".

My sister is just beginning a divorce from her crazy husband with a super male ego. Part of the problem she had was that she was always alone and always left to take care of all the big bills for the household. *Folks Kay Kay will NEVER take care of a man I promise!!* Now they are trying every-other weekend visits. Do you know that punk called here looking for my sister because the youngest two only had 2 pull-ups left and no juice?!? He wanted to know if she was home so he could pick some up. Um hello, Mr. I'm a Baller Super Dad GO BUY WHATEVER YOUR KIDS NEED! If you get the juice out of the refrigerator now you will just be sending them back to a house with no juice at the end of the weekend. Am I right? Did I mention that going to pick up the juice requires passing a CVS, Walgreens, Dollar General, and 2 gas stations? You think stopping at any of these places is an option? No. You know my sister allowed him to TAKE the juice. This is how some of us single moms always have drama and are miserable. Please ladies don't allow foolishness like this.

Rhetorical Question Time:
-Why is it that this "man" could afford to take all four kids to Applebee's and the movies but couldn't buy a pack of pullups?
-Why is it that a dad can buy himself a cool little gadget or go out with his friends but can't get a few sippy cups or a case of wipes?
-Why does he get the kid's clothes from Wal-mart but he shops at pricey department stores and hip-hop clothing stores for his clothes?
-Why do you still end up changing all the diapers, feeding the child(ren), basically taking care of the child(ren), etc. when the children are visiting HIM at HIS HOUSE?
-Why do they always seem to have a mom, sister, aunt, grandma around when its time for the children to visit? It's not really visiting time with Daddy. It's being in the presence of Daddy but Grandma/Aunt will take care of them.
-Why is it okay for him to throw his hands in the air and say "I can't make it to this event" or "I can't help out right now"? We Moms don't have an option to say I can't. We have to get it, find it and make it happend any way we can.
-Why do they want a pat on the head when they do something they're supposed to do? Don't they realize we do what he just did every single day? Then he won't do whatever it was again for another couple months.

I could go on and maybe my thinking is a little jumbled. I'm trying not to be too specific and hurt some one's feelings or be too mean. The point is I'm tired of giving 100% 24/7 then receive grief if I expect at least 25% from the other parent. I've noticed this is a trend in the broken homes situation. They can act so concerned about the children but they are extremely selfish and use the kids as a way to control and manipulate us, the baby mamas, the ex-woman.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

He Can CUT If He Wants


Right now I'm 36 weeks pregnant or so they tell me. From the second I found out I was with child up until this morning I was adamant about having a vaginal birth after cesarean section (VBAC). I've been waiting and fighting and researching and asking questions and transferring doctors for the last 5 months. Now I've changed my mind and hope it's not too late. I'm just ready to have the baby anyway they want me to!

I totally disagree with how OB/Gyns and hospitals have been conspiring against women and pumping us full of their drugs which make us end up in the O.R. to make their jobs easier and put more money in their pockets. Did you know that the most performed surgery in the United States is the cesarean section? The hysterectomy comes in second. I think we should be disturbed by this fact and ask WHY. If I wasn't on such a critical time line this summer I'd still be fighting my fight to push my boo boo out. *ew that sounds nasty* :-p

This summer I have to plan a 50+ mile move, sign up for public benefits so I can get assistance paying daycare, have the new baby which hopefully will now be in the next 2-3 weeks, recover from the c-section surgery *OUCH*, allow my baby to grow--at least 6 weeks, travel to local public schools to secure a full time teaching position for next school year, or find a job somewhere else, prepare for work, and possibly start school. Going to school for my Master's degree will be my backup plan should I not find a job. I've already applied. With all of this on my plate I'm going to put my pride aside and schedule the birth. The labor is only one day, should be only a couple of hours. Waiting 3-4 weeks longer just so I can naturally deliver my baby will hurt me and the kids in the long run. It will set my time table back and give me less of a chance finding ANY job at ANY school or daycare. At the end of the day the baby is coming anyways. Holding him AND making sure I can feed, clothe and provide shelter to all my kids is the most important thing. I swear a single mama's job is never done. Most women schedule repeat c-sections because "the man" has them scared with statistics of possible death, some do it out of convience but I'm willing to go through a major surgery although COMPLETELY UNECESSARY in my mind, just for my kids.

So tomorrow when I go to my doctor I should ask him "Are we cuttin' tonight?" HA! I'm sure he won't get it. But I will beg him to just slice me open do his job and let me go on my marry little way. Wish me luck!

Clean Up, Everybody Do Your Share! pt. 1

You guys know you know the words to the Barney clean up song. If not, lucky you but you missed out on a wonderful way to get your 2 year old to pick up toys. :-p I find that as a single mom most of my weekday evenings are taken up by walking around the house constantly picking up things. Dinner time requires more time as a single mom: prepare the meal, fix the plates, feed the kids, then clean the kitchen. All while keeping the children entertained. Bath time takes time too: bath, getting dressed, settled, asleep then cleaning the bathroom.

If I don't clean clean clean and stay on top of everything the mess gets out of hand FAST. Who can relate? Show of hands. Yes we are fierce divas who can do anything but that doesn't necessarily mean we want to do everything. *Baby daddies did you hear that?!?* ...but I digress... Why do all the work? The kids make most of the mess. Now is a great time for us to explore creating a chores system. *Hold the applause now get your pads and pencils*

Creating a system not only will help us single moms stay relatively sane "Chores are beneficial for children - even very young ones" say Kristen Zolten, M.A. and Nicholas Long, PhD, Department of Pediatrics, University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences writing for parenting-ed.org. "Being responsible for doing chores teaches children many important skills such as cooperation and responsibility. Chores also teach children about fairness and commitment. The skills and values learned by doing chores will benefit children throughout their lives." So if your older ones gripe about doing chores keep on them it is for their own good. I say in every situation there's an opportunity to teach our children something valuable.

When is a good time to start assigning chores? When the child can make a mess. Something as simple as putting away a toy after they are finished playing builds good cleaning habits. I've worked in schools and daycares with kids of all ages, trust me even your 2 year old is cleaning, and using good hygiene at school. Don't limit them by saying what they can't do at home. Here's a handy article on age appropriate chores. as proof that even our littlest ones can help.

What happens if we limit our kids duties or feel sorry and help them with their assigned chores? Parenting-ed.org says "Parents should not do their children's work for them. If parents get frustrated and give in and do their children's chores, children learn a number of things. First of all, children learn that their parents don't mean what they say and will not follow through. Secondly, children learn that if they hold out long enough someone will do their chores for them. Parents should simply apply consequences until their children comply." In laymans terms "we all know when our children are playing us for the fool, don't believe the helpless attitude."

So we've determined that our kids ages 2-22 definitely need to help out around the house. Later in "Clean Up...pt. 2" I'll get into the specifics on choosing the chores, different tracking and awards systems parents can use. {OhKay Kay-Kay}

Monday, May 19, 2008

Allow Me to Introduce Myself

You can call me Kay Kay. I was born and raised in Florida. If you live down here you know how rare it is to actually find a FL native. *Damn New Yorkers, lol* I'm 26. I have 2 boys ages 7 and 1.5 and a baby on the way. He's due in a couple weeks. YIKES! It still sounds crazy when I say it out loud. Totally didn't think I, Kay Kay, would be in this position. What can I say? No one plans on being a single parent it just happens.

I had my first child, umm I'll call him Baby Blue Eyes (BBE) my sophmore year in college. That made school a much less "fun" "normal" experience and more of a "goal oriented" "no hanging out in the student union becuase I have to work, study or get my BBE from daycare" experience. I'll admit that even now I'm a little stiff at times but I can still hang when I want to--and when I take a nap before hand LOL. Anyways my best friend got preggers too and then I had a single mama buddy to finish out my school years with. We roomed together, budgeted together, hustled together, raised our kids together, and WE BOTH FINISHED! YAY US!

I hit the ground running and worked for a few years in the legal field. Yuck! It just isn't my style. I'm more of a nurturer and helper. I got pregnant with my second child, umm we'll call him Lil Peanut (LP), and decided after my maternity leave was over not to go back. Eh, I somewhat regret the decision but you only live once why not find something that satisfies you. A year later after working a few jobs and getting certified for my new field, Education (now job searching *hint hint*) me and LP's dad are pregnant again. LP's dad doesn't live with us and we don't share responsibilites or bills so I still consider myself a single mom. *ug*

Hobbies: I like to spend time with my kids. We go to parks, take walks, play inside, watch tv, I like to cook *shut up some of you! I DO like to cook*, read books and magazines, I'm starting to get back into the vegetarian/whole foods thing, hang out with my friends, happy hours have been out for about 8 months but I do like toget my casual drink on, go to church and church activities *ha! right after I talked about drinking oops!* and whatever else floats my boat.

So here I am a fine did I say fine? Yes I did!--ok LOVELY, college educated, black--ok HALF black--loving, single mama who surely needs to get back on my grind. I think my father's sickness and passing in January of 2008 gave me a kick in the pants. My bestfriend Dimples as mentioned above has an awesome Personal Finance blog see link in side bar. There are so many good blogs out there on whatever you can think of. I figured I have something to say and I'm sure there's mom's out there like me so why not? I need some new ideas to keep my hustles fresh and a few in my pocket.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Single Mama Sunshine

Ok I'm waging war on all things that aren't quite in order in my life. Ok war's a bit dramatic but when you're raising 2, soon to be 3, boys basically on your own it sure feels like a constant WAR! I've been doing things by myself since 2001 and I did a pretty darn good job up until recently. But now I have more to take care of and more to loose. Honestly I've already started loosing a few things: dip in the credit score, good job (voluntarily believe it or not), confidence in my abilities, etc. I also want MORE for myself and my family. It's all about my babies! I've got to re-group and come at life with a new plan because right now I'm getting my butt WHOOPED.
If I don't get into the right mind-set I will loose all of theese battles. I will be attacking my career, my mental, spiritual and physical health, my relationships with others, my children (yes they ARE the enemy, LOL), my finances, and my living situation. The enemies have been identified, now a battle plan must be drawn. That is where this blog comes in to play. My chessboard, if you will. A few people I know don't like my blogs because I'm "airing all of my biz on the net". Well I'll try not to get too personal or at least too specific. I think of my blog as a way to document and be held accountable to my goals. It's also a place where I can vent and be straight silly--hey it's inevitable. I've seen some pretty helpful and interesting blogs, entertaining too. When I find something good I'll post it on the sidebar over there under friends or blog roll, keep checkin back.
Hopefully once I gather my thoughts and start making progress my blog will be inspiring for others not just single moms but er'body. If you have some good stuff please share and I'll try to do the same.